Gastric Bypass Barbie

Somehow, I wasn’t ready for this…

So, yesterday was a really emotional day. Far more emotional than I’d anticipated it would be (isn’t that always the case?) You see…yesterday would have been my mom and dad’s 48th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, we lost him on March 26 of 2009, so he wasn’t here to celebrate with my mom. It was also the anniversary of the day he had a stroke that landed him in the hospital. At the time, none of us thought it was that serious, because he’d had lots of little strokes over the course of his life (beginning when he was 27!), and we were sure this was “just another one.” I know, I know…that sounds crazy. But, that’s just the kind of man my dad was; you rarely knew he was sick — until he was REALLY sick, but even then, he always pulled through. And, besides, he was three months shy of turning 80 so…still fairly young (at least in my mind).

Unfortunately, last year at this time, I was recovering from reconstructive surgery, so I was still in a great deal of pain, not able to leave the house, and drugged out of my mind. What that means is, I wasn’t able to race to the hospital to be with him. Fortunately, my then-18-year-old daughter was, and did. She was wonderful and I’m so glad she was there.

Anyway, I won’t rehash everything that happened then, because I’ve written about it before — but I’ll just say that it was a difficult time that was complicated by my condition, and I evidently still carry a bunch of guilt about it. It’s not conscious, because consciously, I understand that there was nothing I could do about my physical state. I couldn’t change the fact that I my entire upper body was one big “stitch,” or that I walked like C3P0. That was a fact of life. And yet…somewhere, in the deep recesses of my mind, I am kicking myself over and over and over for not being with my dad while he was still able to speak. See? I’m crying about it all over again now.

So, yesterday, I was totally focused on my mom. I wanted to make sure that she was okay and didn’t feel alone. I made sure Juan and Hannah called her and talked to her, and so did I. She seemed pretty okay — she can be quite tough when she wants to be.

And I figured that was the end of that.

But clearly, it wasn’t.

The day started off on a low-note for me because I was absolutely exhausted from the weekend. I felt like I’d been running on the hamster wheel non-stop for 72-hours. I’d gone to the gym early Saturday morning for some solid-uninterrupted cardio and weight training, then I came home to shower, shine, and shoot and edit my first Barbie program for Youtube. I’d created a ton of pressure for myself because i announced that I would be throwing the switch on it (after what I felt was too long a wait, anyway), so I HAD to do it. Never mind that I had NO IDEA HOW to do it (since I’d never shot a video before). Never mind that I had NO IDEA HOW to use the editing software. Never mind that I was a nervous Nellie about my on-air demeanor. After all, I’d spent my entire life avoiding video cameras. I was stilted and unnatural and…well…my real personality never came out because i was too busy being fat. So, as you can see, I had some nerves and pressure happening.

Fortunately, after 4-1/2 hours of editing, I got it done — but I wasn’t finished! Next, I had to schlep down to Newport Beach to see a girl about a vegetable spiralizer (I’ll discuss that little gem on a future blog or in a video), and then we raced to Super Dave and Maid Marian Michele’s house to cook dinner — which, by the way, was magnificent. We did McNee’s pumpkin seed encrusted fish, some butternut squash with wilted spinach, and a really awesome salad (complete with hard boiled eggs!). The company was wonderful and we had a great time. Well, we got home and into bed by about 11ish, and then I had to get up to go to church. I was sacristan for three masses and had to be there from 8:30 to 1:30.

When I got home, I shot 3 more videos (so I’d have stuff to edit this week), and then it was off to Beverly Hills to meet with Dr. Bariatric about a bunch of really important “stuff” (which you will learn about in the future.)

We got home around 7, and it was back to the “editing bay” so I could hammer out my next video. That put me in bed at 11 — which is at least an hour past my bedtime.

So, by the time I woke up yesterday morning, rather than feeling rested and ready for the work week, I felt like I was starting at the bottom of 100 flights of stairs with not even enough energy to ascend the first step…let alone a whole flight.

Let me just say that starting at the bottom is no way to begin a Monday. I even flirted with the idea of calling in sick. But, I had too much to do, so I couldn’t.

Anyway, by the time I left my house, I was feeling pretty good. I had an amazingly thick and creamy chocolate “caffeccino” protein shake, I had packed a good lunch, I had a full-size tire on my car again (so I could take the freeway to work), and I was raring to go — albeit, 15 minutes behind schedule, and I hadn’t even worked OUT in the morning.

By 11:30, I was on the late side of my mid-morning snack, but decided to do my nacho “thang.” (Here’s where the downhill slide unwittingly began.) There was a bag of Ramona’s tortilla chips on the counter in the kitchen at work. So, rather than go “all the way” back to my office to grab my safe chips, I decided I’d “just eat a few of those.” No problem, they were light and crunchy and salty and…really yummy. I wonder how much more “fattening” these are than my safe chips. Mine are 150 calories per serving, 15 carbs, but loaded with 7 grams of protein. These are…let me put…my…glasses…on…WHAT??!!! 509 CALORIES PER 1 OZ SERVING???!!!! Most chips (Fritos, Tostitos) have around 150-200 for a serving. What gives with Ramona’s??

Are they freaking KIDDING me?

Okay. Not a problem. Now, you know. It’s good. Just…step away from the chips and return to normal life. It’s behind you now. You’re good. Lunch will be better. Fish, butternut squash, small salad-ette. GOOD.

And it was.

Until I got hungry at around 3:30 and ate some damned Necco wafers. I had completely avoided the donuts that had been there for TWO WHOLE DAYS, and now this? Stupid candy?

No problem. It’s all good. I’ll drink some water and life will be good.

And on it went when I got home. Oooohhhh, yummy cereal with raisins! Whatever it we, I ate it while spending another 4-1/2 hours editing my next video installment. I had technical difficulties in the end, so when I should have been going to bed, there I was, fiddling with the video.

I finally got to bed at: MIDNIGHT.

Do you think I felt like getting up at 5:20 AM?
Do you think I felt like working out?
Do you think I NEED to work out, after that dreadful day yesterday?
Can I feel the lard from the chips coursing through my veins (and making my fingers swell?)

Yes, to all of the above.

And so it was: The day that I didn’t see coming.

You see, last week, I’d blogged about how I knew why I binged. So, this week, i was ready for that stuff. I was mindful of not attributing malicious intentions to people’s behaviors and comments. I was mindful of not accepting unwanted judgment.

I was NOT mindful of grief and exhaustion.

Clearly, this is a multi-faceted problem. Sigh.

Fortunately, today is another day, and I can accomplish great things. Now…I just have to figure out how to juggle vlogging, blogging and facebooking….

Comment & Win: CHOBANI GREEK YOGURT

Okay, most of you know what I ran a little contest to dovetail with my Gastric Bypass Barbie table at the WLS Vegas Meet ‘N Greet (February 19-21, 2010). All you had to do to be entered, was visit me at the event and sample one (or all) of the items I was taste-testing, and then come to my site and leave a comment.

Today, I’m announcing the winner of the CHOBANI GREEK YOGURT prize. I guess you’ll have to watch the video to know who won (but, isn’t that the whole point?) Drumroll, please….

Congrats to Paula Yenerall!

Here’s what she wrote:
I attended the Las Vegas WLS ‘meet and greet’ with my daughter, Sheri Burton who had the lap band procedure. Even though my own insurance will cover WLS, it requires me to be at least 100 lbs. overweight. I have the choice of, let’s see, gaining another 25 lbs. or trying to lose on my own. So, right now I am trying to lose on my own.

I was very excited to see such great results there were and how happy people were to be there.

I enjoyed everything right along with my daughter.

I tasted only the yogurt but found it to be terrific. I kept asking her, is this really something good for you because it tastes too good. Texture was wonderful and the creaminess and thickness of the yogurt very different than the runny ‘diet’ ones I am used to.

I am going to buy some and include that in my regimen to lose weight.

Thank you to Cari De La Cruz for bringing this product to sample and to all of the organizers and guests and speakers at this event.

You’re welcome, Paula, and THANK YOU for your kind comment.

To collect your prize, send me an email with your address so Shari Lawrence at Chobani can send you your loot.

NEW! Gastric Bypass Barbie Show Goes Live!

I’m pleased to announce that the PILOT EPISODE of the Gastric Bypass Barbie Show is now LIVE on my very own Youtube Channel! I finally joined the hundreds (thousands?) of other WLSers out there and figured out how to make and edit a video (using nothing more than my iMAC computer, InSight camera, iDVD, iTunes, some pink duct tape and a little baling wire.)

Of course, there’s always room for Jello, so I’ll work to ensure that the program gets better and better with each episode.

Feel free to watch, subscribe and comment! (Then, tell your friends — LOL!)

Now…how the heck do I pick a better video still for the freeze frame? I look like a dope in this one — ugh!

Getting to the Heart of the Matter on my Bingeing

“In matters of the the heart, nothing is true except the improbable.” – Madame de Stael

As I’ve posted before, I am a binger. Okay, not a world-class binger or anything, I mean, I don’t purge, and I don’t do it everyday…I just do it enough that it is harmful to my psyche and body. So, eating disorder treatment is one of the reasons I’m going to counseling.

I got to meet with Jim (my therapist) this morning for the first time in about 2 months (his schedule didn’t permit, then mine didn’t, and well…you get the picture). It had been a long time coming, clearly, because I had a lot of junk built up in there. Perhaps that was a good thing, because I was able to identify (what I believe is) a pattern and it brought the source of my binges to the fore.

From what I’ve been able to deduce apparently, I want to binge when:

• I feel that I have been grossly misunderstood
• I feel that I am being accused of not handling a situation well
• I feel that my character is being assassinated
• I feel that I’m not getting credit for doing the “right thing”

I started each thought with “I feel” because that is the crux of it. I FEEL that these things are happening, when in reality, they probably are not (and perception is reality, right?) But, let me explain a little more.

I am pretty intuitive, and as a result, I tend to “pick up” a lot of stuff from people –– stuff that they aren’t even aware of. Now, in my past, this has served me well, because I’ve been able to help people, or diffuse difficult situations. I have generally always considered my ability to emotionally “intuit” as a mostly positive thing, with only a little negative stuff attached.

As an example, if I walk into a large gathering of people — especially a party — I tend to feel like a magnet for people’s insecurities, unhappiness, worries, discomfort, even joy and happiness. It all comes at me like little blow darts, and I feel like a voodoo doll. I used to think I hated parties because I was fat, but now that I am thin, I realize it is because of how I viewed my role at the party. I guess I thought it was up to me to make others feel comfortable, and that is why I would “allow myself” to be the recipient of their emotions, thoughts and feelings.

Ahhhh, but here’s the thing about that plan of attack: I have no way of knowing what others are feeling or thinking. Sometimes, THEY don’t even know what they are thinking or feeling, so how could I?

So, here is what I need to work on:

1. I cannot know what others think or feel.
2. I cannot know others’ motivation or intentions behind actions or words.
3. I cannot allow others’ to judge me.

That last one is tricky sounding, I mean, I judge people all the time, and I know they judge me, so how do I stop them from judging me? The easiest answer is, I don’t. What I mean by that is — and these are Jim’s words that I must internalize: I have to stop assigning malicious attributes to people’s words and actions. My job is to believe that most people have a benevolent (at best) and benign (at most) reason behind what they do and say. Then, even if someone is judging me, I don’t have to accept it as truth, or acknowledge it as any more than a point of fact. In other words, there should be no emotion behind the thought. No judgment.

Here’s how it looks when I ALLOW people’s words to become judgments about me:

Someone can say something to me that I immediately want to interpret as mean. The next thing I typically do is take the comment and run down the road with it:

• Why are they so mean? (I judged them as if I know their motivation behind their words).
• What did I do to make them mad? (I immediately determined that they were mad, and that it was something I had done.)
• I didn’t do anything wrong. (I get defensive and start to find ways to correct their indiscretion.)

All of that happens in the blink of an eye.

Now, if it happens enough times at a particular event, then I can create the most fantastic mountain out of the most innocuous series of mole hills. Each of the shovels of dirt I add to my mountain are “justifiable” and make “perfect sense.” After all, I have to defend my position. I have to stop letting them get to me. I have to look for someone to make me feel better about myself to prove that the other person is wrong.

Anyway, there is much, much more to it than that, but I think you have the heart of the matter.

Moving forward, my job is to stop jumping to conclusions. Stop pretending I am so important that other people live for the sole purpose of making me happy, or making me look or feel bad. We are all selfish creatures, and virtually everything (if not absolutely everything) we do comes from that place of ego; that self. How will it make ME feel? That’s just human nature.

BUT, it’s what you do with it that matters most.

My goal is to begin assigning benign attributions to people’s actions — even if they SEEM blatantly or overtly malicious. That’s my first order of business. Once I do that, then I will move to the next step, which is to stop allowing others’ statements to become judgments that I automatically accept as true — meaning that I “think” I have to defend myself against them. The third thing is to stop looking at myself as if I am a target. I’m not a voodoo doll, and I’m not entering a sniper zone without a bullet proof vest. People in this world are not out to get me (I don’t mean that in a panicky, paranoid sort of way) — they are as wrapped up in their worlds as I am in mine.

So, that’s my therapy for the day. I’m going to work on it this weekend. Maybe I’ll make little flash cards for practice (LOL). I don’t know if anyone else can identify with this, but I’m just working stuff out here…

Ups, Downs and a Box of Size 6’s

The past two months have been an emotional roller coaster ride for me. I’ve had some amazing highs, and some incredible lows, often within minutes of each other. Essentially, there has been very little coasting and a lot of “rollering.”

Up: My shin splints and tennis elbow seem to have gone into remission, and I have returned to working out with a vengeance.

Down: My big toe is badly tweaked, so I cannot do barefoot Power Tae

Coasting: I might be able to participate in the Turbo Kick Boxing class at the gym, because I can keep my shoes on! Just need to wait for the toe to feel a little less traumatized, and then I will try.

Up: I got to go to Vegas for the 1st WLS Meet ‘N Greet; two of my favorite doctors in the world agreed to attend, lecture and offer free consultations; three companies “sponsored” my table by shipping me free product to sample!

Down: I had to pay for a lot of stuff out-of-pocket, including the motel room, which I thought I’d prepaid (d’oh!)

Coasting: For my first time exhibiting as “Gastric Bypass Barbie,” I did a good job and I think I was well-received.

Up: Thanks to Juan’s new job, we were finally able to catch up with the bills. February would be our first month “back in the game.” I had managed to protect our credit and suffered no “late pays.” Whew.

Down: Juan lost his job right after I paid the February mortgage. We hit the skids and I had no idea how we were going to pay for Vegas. Unfortunately, it was too big a hit for our credit, so it’s not going to be pretty for many years.

Coasting: 1 day before we left for Vegas, Juan got his job back at the company where he worked for 12 years. They are paying him less than they did when they laid him off 8 months ago, but it is more than unemployment.

Up: I can still fit into the winter clothes that I’d packed away at the end of summer. I am the same size!

Down: I weigh 15 pounds more than my lowest low (which was too low) 1 year ago. Of course, people frequently mentioned that i was gaunt, skeletal and scary skinny. Nothing fit right and I had zero curves. I felt like a boy with bolt-on boobs.

Coast: My weight increased to a level where no one ever says I’m too thin — or fat! I am officially “maintaining.”

I think most of scan relate to these highs, lows, and in-betweens in our bariatric after lives, but I want to focus on that last scenario, as I think it is possibly the most universal experience.

When you have bariatric surgery, one of the incredible highs has to be dropping sizes. In the beginning, I was losing at least a size a month, which meant that the tops in my closet were never there long enough to develop “pointy hanger shoulders,” and my pants never wore in, let alone wore “out.” Fortunately, I was able to participate in clothing exchanges, and was even the beneficiary of some Size 20’s from an online buddy in Arkansas. I still remember the day I received that big box ‘o loot from Casey. I tore into it like an island castaway uncorking a message in a bottle to see if he’s being saved. There were cute pants and tops and…capris. What? I don’t wear capris. My kankles don’t permit….hey! These are kinda cute! And, well, you get the picture. Thanks to my bariatric buddy, I was spared the expense of buying new clothes — at least for another month or two.

At some point in the rapid descent, you stop losing the weight so quickly, and level-off for longer periods. At one point, I figured I’d never be smaller than a size 8, so I invested in a few suits, skirts and size medium blouses. That worked for quite awhile…until I dropped to a 6….and then a 4…and then dipped my toe in the size “2″ waters. During this time, Juan got laid off, so I didn’t have money to buy new clothes that fit. I mean, just before he got the ax, I acquired a couple of staple items from a real “store”, but eventually, I ended up hitting the thrift shops, where I could get an armload of decent things for about $50. I also received some free tops and bottoms from one of my clients (clothing manufacturer, for whom we printed fabric swatch cards and catalogs). That was quite fortuitous because it stretched my summer-fall-winter wardrobe just enough that I was able to make it through (thanks to layering!)

By January, I had been living comfortably in a size 6 body for about 5 months (thanks, in no small part to my forced inactivity due to afore and oft-mentioned shin splints). Unfortunately, I only had a few articles of clothing (two black skirts, 2 black pants, 3 pair of jeans, and no suits) to fit, and a new season would fast be approaching. With that in mind, I boldly put out a call for Clothing Exchange items in my size. Sadly, there were very few replies, and most involved people who had “just gotten rid of” size 6 stuff, or were “petite” (I’m tall), or were shorts (which I don’t wear very much). Needless to say, it was a tough time, because I was coming to terms with the fact that I was no longer a size 4, but worrying that I would end up as a size 8 — not that there’s anything wrong with a size 8…it’s just that…well…I kinda like being a size 6 — but I wasn’t entirely convinced.

Now, to drive the point of this epistle home and put it into park:

Monday night, after a HORRIBLE day, I got home from work late (8:30) and was greeted by a darkened, empty house (no porch light, black cat in the front window, no lights inside the house, daughter out with friends, hubby working really, really late…) Needless to say, I was bluer than blue. That is, until I got to the top of the porch steps and encountered a MASSIVE (heavy) box with my name on it. It was posted marked from Germany (by way of SFO).

Well, after manhandling the box into my bedroom, and “gingerly” tearing it open, I found a lovely card which explained the contents of the box. Apparently, my beautiful friend, Paula (from Germany, of course) had seen my request for size 6 clothing, and just so happened to have some hanging around her closet! It turns out that 2 years ago, she’d gotten very sick and was hospitalized for 16 days. During that time, she plummeted to a size 6 (from her healthy size and, in her own words, reports that she looked like a concentration camp survivor. I guess she stayed at that weight for awhile — at least long enough to acquire more clothing than I’ve ever owned at a single time in my entire life — until she got healthy and returned to a size 8. But, she held onto the size 6’s, just in case she decided to have plastic surgery. Ultimately, she decided that she didn’t want to subject her body to any more trauma, and packed the clothes away — until she saw my plea.

And that, my dear friends, is how prayers get answered and everyday miracles happen.

Paula had the clothes, I needed the clothes, she shipped the clothes, and they arrived on the very day I needed them most.

You know, it took me more than 30 minutes to get through that box — it was like Mary Poppin’s carpetbag with an endless bottom! It truly was the gift that kept on giving, and the even better part is, the clothing not on FITS, but looks and feels wonderful on me! I cannot believe that the pants are long enough (I’m a size 6 Long, and there are actually 6 Longs in the mix!) and that the styles are just what I love. Some things still have tags on them, and others…well…others are things I could never have afforded to buy.

Each night after work, I’ve come home and tried on a few more things, and each time, I’m amazed to find that they not only fit, but look and feel FABULOUS. When I awoke this morning, I felt the most amazing peace. Why? Well…the unintended consequence of this box of size 6 clothing is, I am completely and totally content being a size 6. I’m not kidding. I no longer look back over my shoulder “just to see” if size 4 would be better, and I’m not fearing weight regain. I feel so at home in my skin now, and firmly believe that the proper balance of eating, living and exercising will allow me to maintain this figure. I feel incredibly beautiful, fit and normal! Wow. All of that, from a single box of clothes from a wonderful friend in Germany.

The bariatric after life can be a crazy roller coaster ride of colossal highs and dramatic lows. But then, I suppose that’s just normal LIFE. What makes it manageable is health, contentment, happiness and good friends. Fortunately, I am blessed with all of these things..

WE HAVE A WINNER!

For those of you who attended the 1st Annual WLS Meet & Greet in Las Vegas, you know that I was giving samples of three, amazing products: Jarrow Whey Protein Shakes, Chobani Greek Yogurt, and Protein Blitz Sports Drinks. I asked people who tried these protein-rich foods leave a review on my site, and they’d be entered to win a fabulous prize.

Now, before I announce the first winner (and tell you what she’s won!), let me tell you how the product testing went, and what people were saying — even if they didn’t come back here to leave a comment!

We began the morning by blending thick and creamy JARROW WHEY protein shakes. Super Dave and MexiKEN were busily whipping up three, tasty flavors, using nothing more than a Vanilla base powder and some Jello SF Instant Pudding mixes in Pistachio, Banana Cream or Cheesecake flavors, while Maid Marian Michele skillfully worked the room with a big tray of little cups on her shoulder and a smile on her face.

The banana cream was an easy hit — after all, everyone knows what banana tastes like, right? So, those went down easy. We reminded people that they could easily use the banana cream for their chocolate peanut butter shakes, or as part of any fruit-flavored shake, and the gears started turning as they began to fantasize about the myriad ways in which they could add a banana to their morning drink — without using a real banana!

The raspberry cheesecake was equally popular, and all agreed that the surprise addition of the no sugar added raspberry preserves from Trader Joe’s made it extra-tasty. I think more than a few people said they planned to have it on-hand to keep their morning routine fresh and tasty.

But, hands down, the FAVORITE and most SURPRISING taste sensation of the morning was DEFINITELY the pistachio! Why? Because most people think they don’t like pistachio. Maybe it’s the green color, or maybe they have memories of eating too much pistachio ice cream when they got their tonsils out? Whatever the case, I was hard pressed to find one person who didn’t really love it — especially Melinda (RecoveringFatty.com). She was a fellow “swagger and exhibitor” at the event (here table was right across from mine), and at one point in the morning, she started to feel dehydrated, and really crummy. Fortunately, Super Dave was their to save the day, and whipped her up a full serving of Protein-Packed Pistachio goodness. She reports that she has become a certified pistachio freak, and was on a real pistachio jag for awhile there.

Well, soon enough, Maid Marian Michele had run out of little sample cups on her tray, and everyone was “full” — so we decided to wrap up that product taste test and prepare for mid-morning snack.

Without further ado, I’m pleased to announce that the winner of a 2 lb. tube of JARROW WHEY PROTEIN is: T2NASHVILLE aka Tammy!

Here is what she said:

I was present at the Vegas WLS Meet & Greet and had the opportunity to visit your booth and taste test the products there. Thanks so much for all you did in making those products possible for us to sample.

Jarrow Vanilla Protein Powder – Barbie had several different flavors of icy protein shakes to try, all made with the Vanilla version of this product. I asked to “smell” the jug of powder – no nasty protein smell at all! Didn’t even really have a vanilla smell, which I often have to “get past” in a lot of powders. I tasted the pistachio shake and the raspberry cheesecake shake – both were equally delicious! Barbie also had a banana flavor available, but I’m not a banana fan. I must say that I was impressed by the quality and taste of the product. Today, I researched the stats on the powder. While it doesn’t have as much protein as most powders, it does have less calories and more absorbent protein. I really wish Jarrow sold their products on their own website, but they rely on local suppliers or other online stores to sell it. I’m still comparing pricing to try to find the best deal, and I plan to visit my local Vitamin Shoppe to see if they carry it. All in all, a big thumbs up for me on this product!

Thanks, and CONGRATULATIONS TAMMY! I’ve forwarded your comments to the company, and maybe they’ll take your suggestion into consideration In the meantime, you need to decide which flavor you want: Vanilla, Caribbean Chocolate or Unflavored.

Tomorrow: I announce the winner of a case of Chobani Greek Yogurt!

Keeping the Faith: The Religion of Bariatric Surgery

I’ve heard the analogy made on various community boards around the web: Those who have bariatric surgery are like converts following a new religion. When you think about it, the similarities are uncanny and post-ops do experience the same things that the newly spiritual do: We have the promise of a glorious new body, an after life, miracles galore, unbelievable joy and heavenly rewards.

You’ve got your churches (hospitals and bariatric centers of excellence) and ministers (surgeons), and they all have slightly different doctrines (programs) for their patients (disciples). Once you’re baptized (have surgery), you become an evangelist, preaching the gospel of healthy living, miraculous weight loss, and an amazing “after life.” You worship at the altar (scale) everyday and pray for continued blessings (weight loss).

In those early days, your faith is strong, and you don’t dare “sin” by giving into the old “temptations.”

Visits to the scale are usually followed by shouts of “Hallelujah!” and you want every obese person you see to “get bariatric religion” so they, too can be healed.

The months pass, and you settle into your spirituality. You have your rituals and you thank the food gods every day because you don’t hunger for forbidden fruits.

But then…something happens. You decide that “maybe” a bite of that cake won’t be so bad. It is, after all just one teeny bite. And then you decide that you can get away with little indiscretions here and there, as long as you follow most of the teachings.

One day, you DUMP…but immediately and fervently repent, promising that you’ll never sin again. From that moment, you begin to make sacrifices at the altar and even start fasting (doing LPTs Liquid Protein Trains to decarb). After all, you are a changed soul. You have seen the light.

From then on, you start to encounter the religious zealots who mean well, but call you a sinner or heretic because you have partaken of an evil carb, eaten a cookie, or drunk a glass of champagne. Soon enough, the church elders are after you because you have fallen from grace.

Sadly, this is the time when many apostles will lose their religion and regain the weight they lost.

But, others will grow in their faith and begin sharing their journey in online forums. Inevitably, these saints will begin to feel the wrath and judgment of others who don’t practice their religion the same way.

Those who don’t want to become martyrs set up their own little houses of worship, and they attract a congregation. All of a sudden, they’re preaching to the choir, and people are singing their praises. Sometimes, they question their faith, so they seek the sacrament of confession, clearing their weighty conscience and recommitting their lives to keeping the faith.

Yes, bariatric surgery is a religion, and it takes a great deal of faith and perseverance to live a “holy” life. Oh, I’ve cast a few stones since my gastric bypass surgery, but all-in-all, I am blessed, and have been redeemed.

Perhaps I am just another pilgrim, sharing the good news with fellow travelers on this journey toward mecca (maintenance.) Whatever the case, I’m keeping the faith; are you?

Can I get an “AMEN!”

Product Review: Kay’s Naturals Cookie Bites

Legal Disclaimer: I received (2), FREE 5 oz. Boxes of Kay’s Naturals Cookies Bites (Cinnamon/Almond Filled, and Honey/Almond Filled) from my good friend, Gene Carbonell at Bariatric Food Products so that I could taste and review them. I was not paid for this review, and the foregoing is 100% truthful. I did eat the product discussed in this review…the whole…two…boxes. They were dangerously yummy, but that’s all I’m gonna say about that here in the disclaimer. Read more for the details of my taste test.

A little about Kay’s Naturals: Kay’s is dedicated to bringing a better alternative to traditional snacks and cereals to the health and fitness conscious consumer. Our products are delicious, made with all-natural soy protein and high-fiber. These products can help to sustain energy, manage weight loss, and stabilize blood sugar. They are an option for all ages and lifestyles and for anyone seeking sources of protein in their diets, including people with diabetes, bariatric patients, body builders, vegetarians, the elderly, and children. They are ideal for the office, sports, on the road, and at home.

A Little Background:

Those of us in the bariatric community have known about Kay’s Naturals for a very long time, having eaten (and loved) their pretzel sticks and cereals as part of our protein rich/carb balanced diets — almost since we were able to eat solid foods (at least that’s MY guess.) Anyway, last year, they brought out a tantalizing new product called: PROTEIN+ COOKIE BITES. These little pillows ‘o goodness pack an impressive 10g of protein per serving and only 3g of sugar. You do have to watch those carbs @ 15g, but for a snack treat, that’s not a bad number at all.

I loved both the Cinnamon AND the Honey flavors and wouldn’t be able to pick a favorite if you paid me. They are both quite yummy. Too yummy, maybe, because I really couldn’t stop at ONE SERVING. And that brings up a little problem for me: My samples came in a BOX which contains 5 servings. Now, this can be a deal-breaker for me, as I do struggle with…um…er..…portioning stuff like this. If it’s in its own little bag, it’s not such a big deal, but something about counting out those happy little buggers spelled T-R-O-U-B-L-E for me this time around. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I understand that they do not normally come like that, and are instead sold in single serving (1 oz) bags, which I think would be safer. I’d me more likely to buy them to have for a special treat, if they were safely confined to one ounce packages.

Oh, that reminds me, these tasty little treats are great with a little Rice Dream or Almond Breeze on them — you know, like a bowlette of cereal

Here are the product specs:

Barbie’s Bottom Line: I am a snack-o-holic and a binger, so these treats are kinda dangerous for me. However, if you DON’T have a problem with things called “cookies,” and can limit yourself to a single serving at a time, then this is your product! They are tasty, healthy and a great alternative to junk food. So, from a Bariatric point of view, I find these to be POUCH-PERFECT. From Barbie’s own point of view, they are pretty much “Danger, Will Robinson” for me and probably should NOT be in my pantry, unless I only get one bag at a time!

Now, here’s the cool news: You can buy these at lots of online retailers, but the great thing about Gene @ BariatricFoodProducts.com is, he sells them BY THE BAG! For only $1.50, you can buy a bag, instead of buying the entire carton. Then you can see if you like it

According to his website: These new Cinnamon Flavored, Almond Filled Cookie Bites from Kay’s will help you maintain a nutritional balance without giving up satisfying flavor. Get energized with these nutritious, protein plus Cookie Bites. There are only 100 calories in these handy 1 oz bags and each 1 oz serving has the protein of 2 eggs.

We recommend these luscious little gems as a great way to fill the gap with a snack that has a healthier balance of great taste, low calories, no trans fats, no cholesterol, lean soy protein, zero cholesterol, lower carbohydrates and a good source of fiber. These Cinnamon Flavored, Almond Filled Cookie Bites are made with all natural ingredients, they are gluten free, and are based on the science of the Low Glycemic Index.

Well, shucks! I think that’s a nice way to end the review, don’t you? I mean, what could I possibly add?

Now, excuse me while I go lick my finger and try to clean-up the bottom of the empty cookie bites bag…

Product Review: Bariatric Advantage Chewable Probiotic

About a month ago, my friend Ed (from Bariatric Advantage) and I were chatting about their product line, and he mentioned that he’d love to send me a bottle of their new Strawberry Flavored Chewable Probiotic to use and review.

Now, before I go any further, there are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quo…

Ahem (Clears Throat):

FORMAL LEGAL DISCLOSURE

This disclosure officially follows the new guidelines set for the the FTC concerning the use of endorsements and testimonials in advertising (effective December 1, 2009).

1. By definition, I am (apparently), an “expert” because I am the reviewer and got FREE product from Bariatric Advantage
2. I did not receive any money for this review, but I did receive (2) Bottles of Bariatric Advantage Strawberry Flavored Chewable Probiotic (90 Capsules per bottle; 2.4 Billion CFU) The reason I got two bottles is that the first one was lost in the mail stream for, like, 2 weeks. So, Edward rushed me out another bottle, so I wouldn’t have to wait to try the product. About a week after I got the replacement bottle, my new bottle rolled in. So, effectively, I’m reviewing TWO bottles of the product.
3. I am currently a bona fide user of the product. As a matter of fact, because I had something containing milk earlier today, I am a little gassy, so I just chewed a tablet to help aid in my digestion. My husband will appreciate my use of the product — trust me.
4. I have no connection to the company, and am not related to Ed. In fact, the only two things we (me and the company, not me and Ed) have in common, are a) the fact that I live in southern California, and b) have the word ‘Bariatric’ in my name, too!
5. I am not selling the product or profiting from this review.
6. My review is truthful and honest. Duh. Why would I lie? It either works, or it doesn’t. Trust me — you’ll get the straight poop (pun intended.)
7. I did not ask my attorney if it was okay for me to review this product, because he doesn’t like Strawberry. I think he’ll be okay with what I wrote, though…

Okay, that is the legal stuff (I think).

On to the review!

PRODUCT DESCRIPTION:

WHY USE THIS PRODUCT?
According to the Bariatric Advantage website: The human digestive system is normally home to several kinds of healthful bacteria or “flora” that play a role in bowel health and regularity, immunity, carbohydrate fermantation and absorption and more. It is sometimes possible for this flora to be come altered due to medications (such as antibiotics or acid blockers), illnesses, or surgical procedures. Bariatric Advantage Chewable Probiotic is designed to assist in the maintenance of healthy normal flora in the digestive system as well as to support overall digestive health and wellbeing. This delicious strawberry flavored product provides 2.4 billion CFUs (colony forming units) of probiotic activity from lactobacillus acidophilus and bifidobacterium lactis – two of the best-studied supplemental forms for probiotic. It also supplies short chain fructoligiosaccharides (FOS) as a prebiotic and is Dairy-Free.

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I TOOK THE PRODUCT?
I’ve long known about the benefits of probiotics, and had been taking another brand for some time. So, when Ed contacted me and asked me if I’d be interested in trying the BA brand, I was hesitant, and told him so. I mean, I didn’t want to waste his time if I was already pretty happy with the brand I was taken, but he persisted, because he was so confident i would love the product. Maybe it was the strawberry, or maybe I was just weak that day, but I agreed to let him send me a bottle, and promised I’d give my most honest review. In other words, if I didn’t like it, you were going to hear about it. He was cool with that — either because he knew I’d love it, or because the formal guidelines say that reviewers must be truthful, even if the review is negative.

The first thing I noticed about the BA probiotic was how good it tastes. It’s pretty yummy, actually, and that’s not a bad thing. But, I have a feeling that’s NOT why I’m supposed to take it! After about 3 days on the product, I began to notice that my bloating had gone away and I wasn’t…well..gassy. That’s just the truth. Gastric bypass people suffer from gas and it can be quite unappealing, to say the least (or, maybe it IS “appealing,” as in “you’re a-peeling the paint off the walls with your gas.”) Anyway, the next thing I noticed was my stomach wasn’t unhappy and I didn’t have any indigestion. The third thing I noticed was probably more mental than anything else, but I seriously felt like my food was being maximized in my system — that I was getting more benefit out of my protein. Again, This is probably just the “placebo effect” at play, but I went with it.

Now, for me, here’s the REAL advantage to taking chewable probiotics: You don’t need liquid, so if you just ate, you don’t have to wait! With other probiotics, you have to take them with liquid, That can be a negative, especially when you really need to get one down, but just ate.

Just to be sure about my experience, I stopped taking them for a few days and — lo and behold — the bloating and gas returned with a vengeance. So, that was enough proof for me. I believe the product works and I would buy it for regular use. I do recommend it for all bariatric patients, and wonder why more doctors/surgeons don’t mandate probiotics as part of the daily vitamin/mineral/nutritional supplement regimen. Perhaps more will catch on, but in the meantime, if you aren’t sure probiotics are right for you, why not ask your physician what he or she thinks? Then, when you get the green light, order up a bottle from the folks at Bariatric Advantage. Each 90-count bottle costs $17.95 (plus S&H — of course,  but you could just tag it in with the other supplements on your order, right?)

Barbie’s Bottom Line: 2 Thumbs Way Up. I thank you and my husband thanks you even more for this product!

Buy it, use it, be happy.

3M’S of a Successful Weight Loss After Life

I found another gem in my blog vault and it’s amazing how timely it is to my current situation! I reread this and was blown away by how prescient I was 8 months ago. I mean, I actually found myself wondering if I even wrote it! (Crazy!) Fortunately, I did, but gosh, I was a different person then. In a colossal case of Physician: Heal Thyself — I need to listen to my own wisdom on this one. Read and enjoy!

***

You’ve heard of the 3M company, right? They make post-it notes and other stuff that helps you make THINGS stick.

Well, I’ve come up with my own version of 3M to help make THIN stick

The way I see it, (in addition to the 3-basic precepts of support, exercise and healthy eating), the key to a successful WLS after life is three-pronged: MONITOR, MEASURE and MANAGE.

STEP 1: MONITOR
This first step is critical. It’s like the section of the owner’s manual for your car, where it tells you how frequently you should change your oil, rotate your tires, check your fluids and take it in for major tune-ups. This is where you get a general feel for how your life is running overall.

It involves questions like:
How am I doing in general? Is my weight steady? How about my energy level? Am I dragging and tired, or do I feel rested and refreshed? What does my emotional state look like? Am I grumpy, frustrated or depressed, or do I feel joyful, purposeful and capable? Do I need to make any adjustments to what I’m doing? Am I achieving homeostasis among family, friends, self and work? How long has it been since I’ve had my blood drawn and labs read? Am I taking all of my vitamin supplements? Do I need more iron? How much protein am I getting in each day? Am I eating slowly, chewing well and getting enough fluids? When was the last time I saw my primary care physician?

STEP 2: MEASURE
This next step is important and broad reaching. More than just assessing, this is where the rubber meets the road; the place where you actually have to put the checkmark next to the “yes” or the “no. This is where you fill in the blanks with a real number — and total the column at the end of the day. But — this does not strictly pertain to food. Traditionally, when I see that word, I think of little plastic cups, scoops, and spoons, or I see measuring tapes and scales. In this case, the concept is much broader. When I say “MEASURE,” I mean that I must measure everything:

Commitment: How strong is my commitment to the WLS after lifestyle? Am I 100% onboard, or am I just getting by on what I hope is momentum and a little luck?

Attitude: Am I staying positive, or does my attitude need a little altitude? Am I motivating others, or am I focused only on “me”?

Growth: Am I stagnant, or am I setting and achieving goals? Do I do the same workout, day in and day out, week after week, or am I trying to increase my resistance, endurance and strength?

Resistance: How resistant am I to acknowledging reality? Have I gained a few pounds? If so, what am I doing about it? Am I still in denial, or am I actively modifying what I’m doing to correct the problem?

Accountability: Am I being honest with myself? How about my family? Am I doing what I say I will do, or have I begun to get sloppy and not follow-through?

Food: Yup, I still need to measure food. Am I eyeballing? Throwing in a “few extra chips” or “just three more almonds?” How about that coffee creamer? Am I accounting for that in my morning java, or do I think that’s a freebie?

Sleep: Am I getting enough sleep, or am I trying to burn the candle at both ends?

Health: Am I taking my medications and supplements? Do I feel a little rundown? Am I anemic? Is it time to see the doctor again? Have I been getting sick more than usual?

Volunteering: Am I helping others? Am I “paying it forward?” Have I volunteered to clean up the beach, the trails or the local park? Am I sharing my time and resources with others?

STEP 3: MANAGE
Final step! Once you’ve monitored and measured, it’s time to make the adjustments or MANAGE your lifestyle choices, actions, attitudes and behaviors. This is where you tweak and fine-tune what you’re doing well, or radically modify what you’re NOT doing so well. If you don’t know how much protein you’re consuming each day, it’s time to write it down. If your attitude off, seek the counsel of a professional, a minister or a trusted friend. If your health is flagging, make an appointment for the doctor — or, in my case, if you are blind and still in denial about needing reading glasses, go “see” the optometrist! If you’re stuck in a rut at the gym, try something different! Try cycling, hiking or walking outdoors. If you like the gym, but are just bored with the elliptical, try the cross trainer, recumbant bike, or even a spinning class! If you like your aerobics class, but find it to be a little stale, try a kick-boxing class, or sign-up for ZUMBA. Is lack of sleep the problem? Recommit to a minimum of 8 hours each night. Whatever it is, MANAGE it before it becomes UNMANAGEABLE.

By MONITORING, MEASURING and MANAGING my lifestyle, I believe I will be more successful at continuing to lead a satisfying, rewarding and joy-filled gastric bypass after-life.

What things would you add to the lists to ensure your continue weight loss success?