Ups, Downs & a Box O’ Size 6’s
Ups, Downs and a Box of Size 6’s
The past two months have been an emotional roller coaster ride for me. I’ve had some amazing highs, and some incredible lows, often within minutes of each other. Essentially, there has been very little coasting and a lot of “rollering.”
Up: My shin splints and tennis elbow seem to have gone into remission, and I have returned to working out with a vengeance.
Down: My big toe is badly tweaked, so I cannot do barefoot Power Tae
Coasting: I might be able to participate in the Turbo Kick Boxing class at the gym, because I can keep my shoes on! Just need to wait for the toe to feel a little less traumatized, and then I will try.
Up: I got to go to Vegas for the 1st WLS Meet ‘N Greet; two of my favorite doctors in the world agreed to attend, lecture and offer free consultations; three companies “sponsored” my table by shipping me free product to sample!
Down: I had to pay for a lot of stuff out-of-pocket, including the motel room, which I thought I’d prepaid (d’oh!)
Coasting: For my first time exhibiting as “Gastric Bypass Barbie,” I did a good job and I think I was well-received.
Up: Thanks to Juan’s new job, we were finally able to catch up with the bills. February would be our first month “back in the game.” I had managed to protect our credit and suffered no “late pays.” Whew.
Down: Juan lost his job right after I paid the February mortgage. We hit the skids and I had no idea how we were going to pay for Vegas. Unfortunately, it was too big a hit for our credit, so it’s not going to be pretty for many years.
Coasting: 1 day before we left for Vegas, Juan got his job back at the company where he worked for 12 years. They are paying him less than they did when they laid him off 8 months ago, but it is more than unemployment.
Up: I can still fit into the winter clothes that I’d packed away at the end of summer. I am the same size!
Down: I weigh 15 pounds more than my lowest low (which was too low) 1 year ago. Of course, people frequently mentioned that i was gaunt, skeletal and scary skinny. Nothing fit right and I had zero curves. I felt like a boy with bolt-on boobs.
Coast: My weight increased to a level where no one ever says I’m too thin — or fat! I am officially “maintaining.”
I think most of scan relate to these highs, lows, and in-betweens in our bariatric after lives, but I want to focus on that last scenario, as I think it is possibly the most universal experience.
When you have bariatric surgery, one of the incredible highs has to be dropping sizes. In the beginning, I was losing at least a size a month, which meant that the tops in my closet were never there long enough to develop “pointy hanger shoulders,” and my pants never wore in, let alone wore “out.” Fortunately, I was able to participate in clothing exchanges, and was even the beneficiary of some Size 20’s from an online buddy in Arkansas. I still remember the day I received that big box ‘o loot from Casey. I tore into it like an island castaway uncorking a message in a bottle to see if he’s being saved. There were cute pants and tops and…capris. What? I don’t wear capris. My kankles don’t permit….hey! These are kinda cute! And, well, you get the picture. Thanks to my bariatric buddy, I was spared the expense of buying new clothes — at least for another month or two.
At some point in the rapid descent, you stop losing the weight so quickly, and level-off for longer periods. At one point, I figured I’d never be smaller than a size 8, so I invested in a few suits, skirts and size medium blouses. That worked for quite awhile…until I dropped to a 6….and then a 4…and then dipped my toe in the size “2″ waters. During this time, Juan got laid off, so I didn’t have money to buy new clothes that fit. I mean, just before he got the ax, I acquired a couple of staple items from a real “store”, but eventually, I ended up hitting the thrift shops, where I could get an armload of decent things for about $50. I also received some free tops and bottoms from one of my clients (clothing manufacturer, for whom we printed fabric swatch cards and catalogs). That was quite fortuitous because it stretched my summer-fall-winter wardrobe just enough that I was able to make it through (thanks to layering!)
By January, I had been living comfortably in a size 6 body for about 5 months (thanks, in no small part to my forced inactivity due to afore and oft-mentioned shin splints). Unfortunately, I only had a few articles of clothing (two black skirts, 2 black pants, 3 pair of jeans, and no suits) to fit, and a new season would fast be approaching. With that in mind, I boldly put out a call for Clothing Exchange items in my size. Sadly, there were very few replies, and most involved people who had “just gotten rid of” size 6 stuff, or were “petite” (I’m tall), or were shorts (which I don’t wear very much). Needless to say, it was a tough time, because I was coming to terms with the fact that I was no longer a size 4, but worrying that I would end up as a size 8 — not that there’s anything wrong with a size 8…it’s just that…well…I kinda like being a size 6 — but I wasn’t entirely convinced.
Now, to drive the point of this epistle home and put it into park:
Monday night, after a HORRIBLE day, I got home from work late (8:30) and was greeted by a darkened, empty house (no porch light, black cat in the front window, no lights inside the house, daughter out with friends, hubby working really, really late…) Needless to say, I was bluer than blue. That is, until I got to the top of the porch steps and encountered a MASSIVE (heavy) box with my name on it. It was posted marked from Germany (by way of SFO).
Well, after manhandling the box into my bedroom, and “gingerly” tearing it open, I found a lovely card which explained the contents of the box. Apparently, my beautiful friend, Paula (from Germany, of course) had seen my request for size 6 clothing, and just so happened to have some hanging around her closet! It turns out that 2 years ago, she’d gotten very sick and was hospitalized for 16 days. During that time, she plummeted to a size 6 (from her healthy size 
and, in her own words, reports that she looked like a concentration camp survivor. I guess she stayed at that weight for awhile — at least long enough to acquire more clothing than I’ve ever owned at a single time in my entire life — until she got healthy and returned to a size 8. But, she held onto the size 6’s, just in case she decided to have plastic surgery. Ultimately, she decided that she didn’t want to subject her body to any more trauma, and packed the clothes away — until she saw my plea.
And that, my dear friends, is how prayers get answered and everyday miracles happen.
Paula had the clothes, I needed the clothes, she shipped the clothes, and they arrived on the very day I needed them most.
You know, it took me more than 30 minutes to get through that box — it was like Mary Poppin’s carpetbag with an endless bottom! It truly was the gift that kept on giving, and the even better part is, the clothing not on FITS, but looks and feels wonderful on me! I cannot believe that the pants are long enough (I’m a size 6 Long, and there are actually 6 Longs in the mix!) and that the styles are just what I love. Some things still have tags on them, and others…well…others are things I could never have afforded to buy.
Each night after work, I’ve come home and tried on a few more things, and each time, I’m amazed to find that they not only fit, but look and feel FABULOUS. When I awoke this morning, I felt the most amazing peace. Why? Well…the unintended consequence of this box of size 6 clothing is, I am completely and totally content being a size 6. I’m not kidding. I no longer look back over my shoulder “just to see” if size 4 would be better, and I’m not fearing weight regain. I feel so at home in my skin now, and firmly believe that the proper balance of eating, living and exercising will allow me to maintain this figure. I feel incredibly beautiful, fit and normal! Wow. All of that, from a single box of clothes from a wonderful friend in Germany.
The Bariatric After Life™ can be a crazy roller coaster ride of colossal highs and dramatic lows. But then, I suppose that’s just normal LIFE. What makes it manageable is health, contentment, happiness and good friends. Fortunately, I am blessed with all of these things..
Tags: bariatric surgery, Before and After, gastric bypass, Living a Healthy Life after Weight Loss, Obesity, self awareness, WLS After Life, WLS Meet & Greet, WLS Mentor, WLS Motivation
Paula is such a sweety. That was so kind of her… like you said, you needed, she had, she sent… That’s incredible. Enjoy your new clothes!
That is what support and friendship is all about…Knowing when you need something they are there with open arms…
Your a good person and I’m happy that Monday turned around for you…
Berrigirl
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’