Gastric Bypass Barbie

Former Foe Becomes BFF (A Little Update on Quinoa)

Okay, this might sound silly, but I just had to write a little update to tell you about my newfound love affair with: QUINOA (pronounced KEEN-WUH).

For those of you who don’t know what quinoa is, according to this site:

A recently rediscovered ancient “grain” native to South America, quinoa was once called “the gold of the Incas,” who recognized its value in increasing the stamina of their warriors. Not only is quinoa high in protein, but the protein it supplies is complete protein, meaning that it includes all nine essential amino acids. Not only is quinoa’s amino acid profile well balanced, making it a good choice for vegans concerned about adequate protein intake, but quinoa is especially well-endowed with the amino acid lysine, which is essential for tissue growth and repair. In addition to protein, quinoa features a host of other health-building nutrients. Because quinoa is a very good source of manganese as well as a good source of magnesium, iron, copper and phosphorus, this “grain” may be especially valuable for persons with migraine headaches, diabetes and atherosclerosis.

Now, I realize that WLS people have known about this stuff for years; vegetarians have known about it for decades, and South Americans have known about it forever, so call me “late to the party” (it won’t be the last time, trust me!) – BUT — I first learned about it from Rob Portinga (formerfatdudes.com) about 1 month ago. Just call him my “pusher”, because it’s his fault I’m now an addict. I’m not sure if it was his description of the stuff, his yummy sounding recipes, or his gorgeous photos (by the way, I had no idea how teeny-weeny it actually is; his pictures make it seem so much bigger) — but the idea of a rice substitute that is safe for bariatric pouches and unusually high in protein intrigued me to the point that I had to buy some and try it for myself. You should know that, for me, buying a new “something” is only about 1/10 of the effort. The remaining 90% is getting me over the hump to actually OPEN the package and cook the darned stuff.

Which, I finally did on Saturday morning.

I started out slowly — just used a little chicken bouillon for flavor — but that was all it took to hook MexiKen, who added some to his steamed veggies for dinner. Then, last night, I was feeling edgy and daring, so I added some curry and cayenne pepper to a batch, and now Hannah (my incredibly talented daughter and sometimes-chef) is hooked! She has decided that she can eat herself into a coma on quinoa (after adding it to the butternut squash and spinach that I’d made for dinner). As a matter of fact, it has officially become her new addiction, and she says she could happily eat this with “everything” for the rest of her life. I have a feeling she’s going to create some AMAZING dishes with this new grain, so I’d better buy more. A LOT more.

Anyway, if you haven’t tried it yet, I would encourage you to do so — after you read some of the following resources about it:

There’s even an official quinoa site!

Finally, Rob’s site — go here for information and great recipes (tell him Barbie sent ya

Okay, off to bed for me. I think I feel a yawn coming on. Nope… that was just a hiccup. Oh well — more later! I wonder if there’s any quinoa left in the fridge…

Quinoa, Cooking and My General Aversion to all Things Kitchen

Photo by Rob@FormerFatDudes.com

I’ve gotta tell you…I don’t know when this happened. I used to be right at home in the kitchen. I mean, as a gastric bypass pre-op, even though I wasn’t one of those people who can experiment and come up with (BAM!) amazing dishes, I did manage to follow some terrific recipes and make a lot of people very happy. As a matter of fact, I have a hand painted mural in my kitchen that reads: Cocina de Chile — Body and soul fed daily. (My nickname is “Chiles” – long story). I also have a painting of my kitchen saint (“San Pasqual” ) who had angels to help him finish the cooking each day (we all need those).

So, in my “before life,” I had no hesitation, trepidation or consternation about cooking or baking. Hey, I’ve been doing famous Thanksgiving Friday meals at my place for YEARS (it’s a regular event and people bring their ziplok containers for leftovers) and my chocolate chips cookies are LEGENDARY.

So, what has happened in my Bariatric After Life™ to keep me from wanting to cook?

The easy answer would be that I am fearful of the temptation. In other words, even if I cook something healthy, I might want to sample and taste and pinch and nibble my way through prep (which is what I always did pre-op), then still sit down for a meal. I know that this happened when I baked bariatric friendly cookies for Christmas 2 years ago. I ate too many (which defeated the purpose of the healthy baking!) So, maybe I lost my mojo because I don’t want to be surrounded by opportunities to overeat.

Or, maybe it comes from my mom — who was a good cook, but not a confident one. She never taught me how to set up a pantry or what to have on hand so I would always be able to throw together something tasty. It’s not her fault, it’s just that I’m a rule follower and like instructions (guidelines?)

Maybe it happened that time I tried to cook Mexican rice and it turned into a sticky glop. Before that, I’d never had trouble with rice, but something about cooking for MexiKen (and knowing I could never compete with his mama) must have thrown me off my game. (I believe there is a *grain* of truth to that

Whatever it is, I print recipes like an addict….but very rarely pull them out and actually USE them. Heck, it’s a major production just to crock beans in the pot (which I just started doing 3 weeks ago, by the way…). Before that, it was even hard to motivate myself enough to OPEN THE CAN. I would seriously fight with myself over whether or not I could use the can opener to extricate the beans, heat them in the pan and mash them with the back of a spoon. Isn’t it just easier to BUY a cup of beans?

Which brings me to today: I have an unopened box of Quinoa on the counter. It’s just sitting there, waiting patiently for me to pop it open and cook up a batch. But I’m intimidated. What if it comes out like my Mexican rice? Inedible and just plain yucky? What if I don’t LIKE it once I cook it? I’ve never tried it before and think I’ve built it so far up in my mind, it will underwhelm and disappoint me. Like that time when I watched Chariots of Fire and HATED it, even though the entire world raved about how amazing it was. All I saw was people running. And running. And running. And looking exhausted. In slow motion. To some really pretty music. What was so great about that?

But, I digress.

The point is, I think I’ve built an obstacle in my kitchen that doesn’t need to be there. Right now, it seems to be constructed out of protein containers full of uncooked quinoa, so it shouldn’t be *too* hard to dismantle, but it’s still THERE. Smack dab in front of the STOVE — and there’s a big picture of QUINOA on the front. I think I could probably knock it down, but it’s gonna take some gumption (and maybe a spatula, a skillet and some dried cranberries).

In the meantime, I’ve set a goal to actually cook the quinoa. Before next Monday.

• I will conquer this crazy kitchen fear!
• I shall overcome!
• I shall be victorious!
• I will not burn the quinoa.

Film at 11….

Thick is Better Than Thin

Since I lost my weight after gastric bypass surgery, I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but, THICK IS MUCH BETTER THAN THIN.

In the early days of my post-op after life, I was all about “thin” (of course). The idea of “thick” was just too much for me and I spent my days looking forward to “thin”…But now, 2+ years into my bariatric after life, I realized that THICK is the only way to go.

Of course, I’m talking about….PROTEIN SHAKES. (What did you think I meant?)

When I first had my RNY, Miss Cranky Pouch didn’t like thick shakes (they made her unhappy and foamy). That’s why she craved thin shakes — like the stuff in the cans and milk cartons: Muscle Milk Light, Atkins Advantage, Slim Fast Lo-Carb, Myoplex Lite, Costco Premiere. As far as I was concerned, the thinner, the better!

But this morning, I realized that I am ALL ABOUT THICK. That is because I ended up with a woefully THIN protein *shake.* Okay, in good conscience, I can’t call it a shake…it was more like a *shook*…Yeah. A protein shook. That’s what it was.

What a disappointment. That stuff didn’t stick around to fill up my pouch for even a little while and I was hung-reeeee by 10:30. This, after drinking it between 9 and 9:30! I can usually last a good 2-1/2 hours on one of my “meals in a cup” — which typically include fun stuff like spinach leaves, wheat germ, flax seed meal, pumpkin puree, or whatever my little heart fancies for the morning.

I think the problem was with the base. I decided to try Protein Girl Allie’s SUGAR COOKIE SLEIGH RIDE shake (recipe calls for 1 cup of chilled, double -bag-strength, Celestial Seasonings Sleigh Ride Sugar Cookie tea.) Well, knowing that there was a potential for disaster, I reduced the amount of tea liquid to about 4 oz and substituted egg beaters and almond breeze for the rest. I was careful to add my guar gum (as a thickening agent), but I don’t have any Xantham — could it REALLY make that big a difference? I even compensated with a bit more protein powder, PLUS, when I saw how inadequate it was, I put it back through with some nasty chemicals in a box sugar free instant pudding powder.

The net result was really a bummer. Thin Protein Shook.

So, the moral of the story is this: THICK IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THIN.

You may quote me.

A Happy Accident: Banana Pumpkin Cream Shake

So, this morning, I felt like a pumpkin shake. Fortunately for me, I didn’t LOOK like one, that’s a discussion for another day.

Being of reasonably sound mind and having extremely little time (as usual), I set out to concoct a taste sensation that I know and love. However, since I’m rather ADHD about stuff, I don’t like to leave well enough alone, and I decided to mess with the recipe — to fantastic effect!!!

In the words of Adam Richman (from the Travel Channel’s “Man V. Food”) Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! This new shake was THE BOMB!

Here’s the recipe (Give it a whirl!)

PUMPKIN BANANA CREAM SHAKE

6 Ice Cubes (automatic ice maker sized)
1/4 c. Egg Substitute (I used the Egg Whites Only variety this morning).
3/4 c. Almond Milk (or your favorite fluid base)
1/8 c. Flaxseed Meal
1/8 c. Wheat Germ
3/4 c. Pumpkin (canned; no sugar, just the squash)
SF Jello Brand Instant Pudding Mix: Banana Cream Flavor (you decide how much) <-- This is a great additive, because it gives you the flavor of bananas, without the sugars!
Pumpkin Pie Spices (you *could* use the kind that comes pre-mixed, but since I don’t have that, I went with a combo of: cinnamon, ground cloves — careful on this one — nutmeg and ground ginger.)
Chile Powder — Yes, chile powder. You decide how much you want to rock this drink. I did probably about 1/2 as much chile as pumpkin pie spice.
1-2 scoops Vanilla Protein Powder

Blend Well and enjoy!

Possible (thoughtful) additions or substitutions: grated carrots, silken tofu, SF Cool Whip — Yes, Allie, I know you hate this stuff! — and/or guar gum (for thickening).

Now, the surprising twist on this drink happened when I gleefully added — WHAT I THOUGHT WAS — Cheescake Instant Pudding Mix, only to learn that it was really BANANA CREAM! Okay, so that wasn’t a bad idea. I might also have tried BUTTERSCOTCH — if I’d felt like really walking on the wild side. The wheat germ adds a very substantial quality to the drink and keeps me feeling full longer — which is a good thing.

So, give it a try and tell me what you think. I’m no Paula Dean or Martha Stewart around a blender, but I get by okay. Oh, and I still made it to my chiropractic appointment on time! SNAP!

Suck It Up.

You know, if I had a nickel for every time someone told me they “don’t like protein shakes,” I’d have at LEAST $.50.

“But, I just don’t LIKE protein shakes.”
“They don’t taste good.”
“They make me gag.”
“It’s a texture thing.”
“I don’t have time to make them.”
“I hate chocolate.”
“I hate the grittiness.”
“They’re gross and disgusting.”
“I get all of my protein through food.”
“They’re too much work.”

I have one thing to say to all of those complainers: SUCK. IT. UP.

Okay, okay, in all fairness, maybe some of those complaints are well-deserved, I mean, how many of us were tortured by gritty, disgusting protein drinks while trying to lose our weight on the latest liquid diet craze? We were tortured with SlimFast and OptiFast and whatever other junk is out there. But, I contend those aren’t REAL protein shakes at all; they are pretenders to the protein throne; crap in a can (as my friend, Dave would say).

As a gastric bypass patient living a successful (and healthy) after life, I’ve learned that if I want to keep my weight off and not develop nutritional deficiencies, protein supplements — especially shakes — are critical to my long-term health and success. Aside from the fact that I simply cannot get all of my protein in through chicken, beef, cheese or eggs, shakes are quick and easy, taste great, and keep me satisfied longer than ordinary food. Basically, I figured out pretty quickly after surgery that being healthy was gonna involve stuff I didn’t really like, so I’d better find a way to tolerate (and even enjoy) it.

Case in point: FISH.

Anyone who knows me will tell you how much I have always hated fish. Even tuna, if I get a fishy batch, will cause me to wretch. So, how do I get those healthy Omega-3’s down the hatchet, if I won’t eat fish? Simple: Find a fish I DO like and run with it. Of course, this means that I must TRY fish and run the risk that I still don’t like it. For example, I recently learned that I actually like mango mahi mahi, love fresh grilled Washington salmon in wild meat sauce, and still hate tilapia and cod. (Then again, maybe I just haven’t found a WAY to like those last 2?) Whatever the case, if I hadn’t been wiling to try, I never would have known that there is actually fish out there with my name on it!

Here’s another one: ASPARAGUS.

I cannot tell you how long I have hated asparagus. It’s stringy and tough and limp. Yuck. How can anyone eat a vegetable that is better used as dental floss? Simple: By blanching it (to retain greenness) and BBQing it (with a touch of olive oil and ground lemon pepper). Then, it’s crisp and tasty. Then, I love it. But, as hubby learned, it’s a fine line for me; if he grills it and kills it, I can’t touch the stuff.

So, the moral of the story is: Find a way to prepare (whatever it is) right, and you might find something (whatever it is) you’ll actually like (but thought you hated!)!

At the end of the day, there are ways to make things work — if you’re willing to put forth the effort and actually give it a try. What’s the worse thing that could happen? You decide you still don’t like it. What’s the best thing that could happen? You find that you might kinda sorta like it — given a little more massaging. Or, in my case, you could learn that protein shakes are like CRACK and you can’t get your day started without one. I am secretly terrified that my blender will break, leaving me high and dry, unable to feed my addiction…but I digress.

Cardinal Rules of Quality Protein Shake Making:

1. Begin with a quality, good tasting protein, like: Jarrow Whey, Whey Gourmet, Dymatize Elite, 100% Designer Whey
2. Get a good blender. Lots of people swear by the Magic Bullet, but I prefer my little JCPenney 5-in-1. If you have the money to spend, Allie (protein girl) swears by her Vita Mix.
3. Use a good liquid base. I like Soy Milk, but others use Almond or Rice Milk. I stay away from milk because I’m allergic to it, but it’s also a bit heavy. When you pick your liquid, just make sure it’s not loaded with sugar!
4. Be creative! Try adding things like spinach leaves, shredded carrots, cherry tomatoes, strawberries, cucumber, sugar free Jello or Pudding, instant coffee, blueberries and flax seed meal! Each of these makes your shake that much healthier, and keeps things “fresh.” Nothing worse than a boring old chocolate or vanilla shake, day in and day out!
5. Have fun and enjoy!

The bottom line is: Health involves taking risks, trying new things, and doing the work. It isn’t free and it isn’t always easy, but, MAN, is it ever worth it!

• Do you shun protein supplements?
• Are you guilty of limiting yourself?
• Have you been lazy or unwilling to try something new?
• Have you ever given protein a fair shake (pun intended)?

I guarantee you there is a shake out there that you will love. It might have strawberries, blueberries and carrots, or maybe vanilla with some peach flavored sugar free jello. Maybe it’s pistachio with a hint of cucumber? Maybe it’s a chocolate cafe mocha supreme. Whatever your “thing” is, you’ll never find it, unless you’re willing to try.

If you don’t believe me, ask Allie (Protein Girl) or Deb (Smoothie Girl). They’ve found heaven in a cup, just like me!

Cucumber Cranberry Salad

Okay, this might sound weird, but I encountered a great taste sensation! Cucumbers with Cranberries. Who knew? Hey! Don’t knock it ’till you try it:

Ingredients:
1/2 Persian Cucumber
(These are tender little baby cucumbers that are sweet and seedless. If you often get bloated or gassy eating english or traditional cucumbers, this could be the ticket for you. I buy mine from Trader Joe’s.

1/8 Cup Dried Cranberries
(not Craisins – they have much more sugar than regular dried cranberries. Just check the numbers when you buy them and adjust your serving size according to the amount of sugar you can tolerate at one time.)

Rice Vinegar (to taste) <-- I'm thinking APPLE CIDER vinegar here. Thoughts?

Directions:

1. Slice or chop cucumbers into whatever shape or size you desire.
2. Combine with cucumbers in a small bowl.
3. Marinate in rice vinegar (or any vinegar you want — apple cidar vinegar, red wine vinegar, whatever floats your boat.)

This reminds me of that jello salad my mom always made for thanksgiving. It had dill and mayonnaise with the cucumbers and pineapple. This is just a weird reminder.

Possible additions:

• Feta cheese. I’m thinking feta would work really well here, so I’ll try that next time!
• Or maybe (after you let the cucumbers and cranberries marinate overnight to take on the flavor of the vinegar) drain and mix in some greek yogurt and a touch of instant lime jello).

Slurp! This could get out of control in a hurry, but who cares? It’s good for us — ENJOY!.

Tchaikovsky, Fireworks, Friends

& The Hollywood Bowl

Dave, Michele, Juan & Cari

So, last night, Juan and I had the pleasure of being guests at the Hollywood Bowl with our friends Dave and Michele. It was a balmy Southern California evening (typical August weather), and we had a terrace box with a great view! Now, if you’ve never been to the Bowl, it is like nothing you’ve ever done! You get to bring your own food and drink, and then they set up little tables and chairs in your own private box. It is the loveliest experience all by itself, but when you throw in good friends (aforementioned Dave and Michele), good food (see below) good music (Tchaikovsky compliments of the LA Philharmonic Orchestra), and good fireworks (cannon* perfectly timed to the 1812 Overture), you have a recipe for the PERFECT EVENING!

Of course, since this is a bariatric-centric site, I’m going to put my own spin on the events of the evening.

Recipe for a Memorable Evening

Ingredients:

(4) Tickets to the Hollywood Bowl

(1) Lot A Parking Pass

(1) Balmy Southern California Evening

(2) Wonderful Friends

(1) Loving Husband

(1) Healthy Portion of Tchaikovsky

(1) Rousing Fireworks Display

(4) Great Terrace Box Seats

(2) Coolers full of fresh fruit, cheese, spinach salad and sushi

(2) Packages of Sugar Free Cookies

Directions:

1. Say “Yes” when good friend invites you and your husband to an evening under the stars at the Hollywood Bowl.
2. Prepare healthy foods to bring in ice chests.
3. Navigate through Friday Night LA traffic and arrive early at Bowl.
4. Find box seats and wait while server sets up chairs and levels tables.
5. Take lots of pictures.
6. Assemble foods on small plate.
7. Consume slowly throughout the course of the evening.
8. Leave event feeling satisfied, content and not worried that food had become the central focus of the evening.

DO NOT!

• Make the mistake of eating your food from the “big bags”
• Eat half a bag of popcorn on the way to the event because you are stressed about traffic, worried about being late, just “want” to have some, or are mindlessly shoveling it in by the handful.
• Confuse “bring enough for a small picnic” with “feed an army”
• Eat too many sugar free cookies, as they have a laxative effect and you will blow-up and/or explode.

DO

• Pack your own bag with proper portions.
• Remember that the night is about friends, music and memories.
• Taste the food as you eat it.
• Eat no more than (2) sugar free cookies (which you have helpfully pre-bagged).

Bariatric Buddies

BOTTOM LINE:

1. Have a game plan with winning strategies.
2. Prepare for the worst, but plan for the best.
3. Do not focus on the food.
4. Remember the journey and realize that no food is worth the joy and freedom of being able to climb the steep hills at the Hollywood Bowl (without getting winded), comfortably fit into the folding chairs in the box seats, or actually be COLD when everyone else is hot!

NACHOS DE LA BARBIE

I don’t know about you, but pre-WLS, I simply COULD NOT get enough Mexican food. I never met a tortilla chip or burrito I didn’t like, and I used tortillas like a spoon.

Happily, not much in my new After Life has changed — other than the quantity and type of Mexican food I eat! Being a (lazy) creature of habit, it was important for me to find a healthy option that I could bring to family get-togethers and not feel like the only gringa at a quinceañera (even though I usually am

My creation? NACHOS DE LA BARBIE

Ingredients

• 1/2 c. reduced or fat free refried beans. Black beans are higher in protein (by, like…1 gram). There are amazing mixtures out there — some have lime and chile, others are made with jalapeños. Choose your poison, they are all good.
• (1) dollop of 0% plain Fage (or Greek yogurt).
• 1-1/2 T. Petite diced Mexican style tomatoes (again, lots of options here.)
• OR
• 1-1/2 T. Salsa
• 1/2 T. sliced black olives
• 1/4 c. reduced or fat free shredded Mexican style queso (cheese)
• (7)  Spicy Flax Tortilla Chips from Trader Joe’s

Directions

1. Heat the beans part way in a microwave.
2. Add the cheese and finish heating. Not too long, or you will fry your taste buds off!
3. Remove from microwave and add toppings.
4. Serve with chips.

FAGE: God’s Gift to Gastric Bypass Barbie (And you!)

Okay, I know you all know about Fage (Fah-yeh) — Greek Yogurt. This stuff totally ROCKS. It’s like, God’s gift to all things bariatric eating. Since I was enjoying my afternoon snack of plain fage with walnuts and dried cranberries, I thought it was perfect timing to share a few of my favorite recipes. Of course, they are SIMPLE.

CHEESECAKE SUPREME

Ingredients

• (1) 4 oz. container of 0% plain fage (or greek yogurt)
• Dash of sugar free instant pudding mix — Cheesecake flavored. You decide how much to add. 1/8 of a small package is probably enough, or else it gets pretty thick.
• 1/8 cup of dried cranberries
• 1 t. chopped walnuts or pecans
• 1 packet of Splenda® (or more, if you’re a sweet-fiend like I am)

Directions

1. If there is a clear membrane over the Fage, remove it before adding any ingredients. Trust me, there is a reason I’m telling you this. No, I did NOT make the same mistake three times before learning…
2. Add instant pudding and Splenda®. Mix well.
3. Fold in dried fruit and nuts.
4. Sit down (don’t eat standing up!)
5. ENJOY! (Slowly)

This is LOADED with protein (at LEAST 15 grams!)

OTHER USES:

• Add a dollop of plain (unsweetened!) Fage to your nachos or anything that would usually require sour cream.
• Add reduced fat (or fat free) Ranch dressing mix to make a healthy dip.
• Add onion soup mix for a veggie dip.

Okay, I found this recipe over on BE and it freaking ROCKS! It’s so easy, even I can make it without losing interest midway through the preparation. Trust me, it takes 2 minutes!

Mock Rice Pudding

Ingredients

• 1 small package sugar free vanilla instant pudding mix
• 2 c. non-fat milk (or whatever you use)
• 16 oz. non-fat cottage cheese
• 2 snack size boxes of raisins
• Cinnamon to taste
• Nutmeg to taste

Directions

• Whisk together pudding mix and milk until thickened.
• Add spices according to your taste preference. Careful with that nutmeg!
• Fold in cottage cheese
• Add raisins
• Spoon into little 4 oz. mason jars with lids and store in the fridge for a quick snack.

Serve well-chilled for best flavor
Sorry I don’t have the nutrition numbers, but I know it’s a healthy snack!

For fun: Try adding dried cranberries, in place of raisins, plus a few chopped pecans or walnuts.